I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
