I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
