He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize