she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize