why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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