"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
