HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
