ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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