batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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