My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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