Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
