You made me cry and you don't even care
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
