I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
