I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
A+ Viking dick
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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