we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My dick has a subreddit
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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