Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I touched a dick in church today
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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