3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
