Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize