my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
