I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
