I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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