do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
