I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
