i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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