Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
