The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
a search helicopter?!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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