Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
no you cant smoke seaweed
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
