It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Can I color on your dick again?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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