I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
there is glitter all over my balls
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