They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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