who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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