im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
