If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
