After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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