Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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