You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
