Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
and you fell through a lawn chair
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize