What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
