new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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