Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
