another moral hangover. fuck.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
