is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
