8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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