Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
