we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
