I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
