I got chris browned last night
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will be naked everywhere
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
