I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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