have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
