so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
