he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Let's paint friendship bongs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
