This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize