I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize