I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
