A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
