Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
