Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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