wanna go halves on a baby?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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