He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
